Shitty Animal Companions* A list of disappointing dogs, bothersome birds, and other awful animal companions. 1. 1. A crow who steals shiny things for you. Usually, it takes your own things, puts them somewhere else for a while, and eventually (maybe) brings them back. A fox with extreme balance issues; it has to be carried everywhere, and cannot hunt. A nearsighted hawk. A carnivorous deer with bloodlust that tries to take a bite out of anything that moves. 5. A scarred, intimidating-looking dire wolf that is easily scared off by a smaller dog, a squirrel, a cat, or pretty much anything else. 6. An owl that you're pretty sure can talk, but that only says "who" in a human voice. An invisible dog. It barks at all hours and will only stop if you scratch it behind its ears (wherever those are). A cat. Just a regular, asshole cat. A parrot that swears like a sailor and curses like a witch; whenever it speaks you either have to have a counterspell ready or simply apologize to whoever it's offended. - iFunny